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Why does a young person behave in a difficult-to-understand way, and what can be done about it?

The most important thing to understand here is that no young person's behaviour just happens. Through their behaviour, young people are always trying to tell us something, that is, high-risk behaviour, or behaviour that is difficult to understand, always has a meaning, and usually involves unmet needs. Young people's behaviour is a mirror of their experience.

How does high-risk behaviour develop?

There can be different reasons for risky behaviour among young people. A number of factors have been identified that contribute to the high risk behaviour of young people and its persistence at individual, family and educational levels. These levels are opened up below, as well as recommendations on what to do in these contexts.




Individual causes of high-risk behaviours 

At the individual or personal level, the risk factors for developing high-risk behaviors include various trauma experiences, such as abuse, neglect; neuropsychological difficulties, special needs (such as hyperactivity, depression, personality disorders, autism, etc.); loss/grief of a parent or close one; becoming a victim of bullying, low self-esteem, low interest in learning, placement in foster care. Factors triggering risky behavior may also be related to age (underdeveloped personality, immaturity) and individual traits (impulsivity, hyperactivity, etc.). Psychologists confirm that individuals who are easily irritated and experience rapid mood changes, or conversely, shy and reserved individuals, are more prone to risk-taking behaviors.

Young people who experience emotional difficulties, serious stress, or feel isolated may take more risks or engage in risky behavior. This is generally due to their attempts to cope with difficult emotions through risk-taking, as they lack better coping skills.

Young people often experience problems simultaneously across different areas of life (impulsivity, hyperactivity, educational special needs in conjunction with family difficulties and parental issues), which increases the likelihood of behaviors that cause problems.[1]

*The authors of the study emphasize that the first instances of misconduct create opportunities to identify children in need of help.*[1]


How to support a young person exhibiting high-risk behavior?

Let’s start with the importance of understanding the **reasons** behind a young person's high-risk behavior and/or what keeps it going. This includes establishing contact with the young person and building a trusting relationship so they can express what they think, feel, and need. Additionally, it’s important to recognize that reaching out to a young person, especially in building a trusting relationship, may take time. Therefore, it’s essential to be consistently present, supportive, avoid blame, and convey that you are there for them regardless of their behavior. All of this ultimately helps in understanding what kind of support the young person truly needs.

  • To reduce risk-taking behavior among youth, it is important to help develop their social skills, self-regulation skills, and conflict resolution skills.
  • Establish clarity in rules and boundaries. It is important to find a good balance between supportive frameworks and rules that may provoke resistance. This can be achieved through joint discussions and making agreements instead of just setting rules. Generally, rules are established by an adult in a position of authority, but agreements are created together with the youth. This approach empowers young people and demonstrates that they have a voice in decisions affecting their lives.
  • Leisure time activities for children. On one hand, extracurricular activities fill the free time of young people, and on the other hand, they provide opportunities for self-realization and a sense of achievement. When a young person lacks interests and clubs to fill their free time, they clearly start to feel bored. As a result, some young people find excitement and "self-fulfillment" in committing offenses. The capacity to offer prosocial leisure activities directly depends on the community's resources, its residents, and specialists. Therefore, it is important to develop opportunities for all young people in the community, including those exhibiting risky behavior, to participate in extracurricular activities and receive career counseling.
  • Self-solution proposal. Ask the young person what they think is the right/fair way to make amends for the action that caused the conflict, or what skill they feel they need to cope better in the future and make better decisions. You can also provide some options for them to choose from.
  • Formulating future plans. A young person may better understand the need to change their behavior when discussing future perspectives with them. This creates a clear understanding of why change is necessary. This discussion might be related to their future profession. It's important to consider that young people often think in the short term, so it's reasonable to set goals for the near future. When formulating future plans, it's essential to show the young person their options and help them envision what they need to do to achieve those plans. If they can create their own plan, they will have greater intrinsic motivation to follow through. It's crucial to assist young people in taking specific steps towards realizing their dreams and ensure that someone is always there for them on this journey. For creating future plans, tools like MY PLAN can be used (see here).
  • Find a trustworthy adult for the child. It's important for a young person to have a supportive and warm relationship with at least one adult. This doesn't have to be a parent; it can also be a coach, teacher, child protection worker, prosecutor, police officer, or therapist. There are many options! The key is that the young person should be able to choose someone they want to maintain and develop a relationship with. The selected adult must also be willing to collaborate and invest in the relationship. It's crucial that this person is someone who genuinely listens and can be trusted. A young person who has experienced trauma and has at least one supportive adult in their life has a greater chance of overcoming difficult situations compared to a young person who lacks such an adult.
  • Pay attention to the child's mental and physical health. Undiagnosed or untreated mental and behavioral disorders make children particularly vulnerable, potentially leading to self-destructive and/or high-risk behaviors. If the child's health has not been assessed so far, it is essential to take the first steps toward this (e.g., consulting a family doctor, seeking information about services and options).


Family causes of risk behavior:

Family risk factors include a lack of quality family relationships, such as insufficient parental supervision; being thrown out of the house; witnessing domestic violence; conflicts between parents (including a lack or absence of parenting skills). Experiencing violence, both physical and psychological or verbal (e.g., using inappropriate parenting methods such as blaming, punishing, and threatening).

As with all elements of parenting, children and young people pay significant attention to what the adults around them do or model. When parents and other caregivers abuse alcohol or do not demonstrate healthy and safe coping strategies, teenagers are more likely to engage in risk behaviors and struggle to take care of themselves.

Inadequate parenting skills also increase the likelihood of risk behavior. Parents who demand too much from their children may cause more harm than good, as young people might rebel against these demands or simply break under the pressure, leading to destructive behavior. On the other hand, parents who fall to the opposite extreme and do not pay enough attention to their child—whether due to excessive work or lack of time or emotional resources—may overlook their child's problems, thereby increasing the likelihood of risk behavior. In today's fast-paced lifestyle and diverse family structures (e.g., blended families), adolescents may be overlooked, as it is assumed that they can handle life and various situations on their own, even though they may still need significant support and understanding.

If a child's family situation becomes dangerous, the young person must be separated from the family and arrangements made for them to stay with other relatives (under guardianship) or, if that is not possible, placed in alternative care (e.g., foster care or a group home). This can be a significant trauma for the child and may greatly increase the likelihood of high-risk behavior, especially if the child has lived in an unfavorable environment for a long time (meaning they were placed in alternative care at an older age) or have been moved repeatedly between their family and various forms of alternative care (e.g., different group homes). The compatibility between the child and the foster home or group home is also crucial; for instance, if the placement is of low quality and does not meet the child's needs, there is a significant risk of developing high-risk behavior. 

What to do at the family level to reduce a young person's high-risk behavior?

Focus on improving family relationships. It is important to develop the relationships between children and parents. It is crucial to understand that regardless of the adolescent's behavior and what happens within the family, family relationships are very important for the young person, and the greatest likelihood of reducing risk behavior is through strengthening relationships within the family. The young person is and will always be a part of their family system. The family must be approached holistically. When supporting youth in reducing risk behavior, it is essential to engage and support the whole family, not just the young person. Sometimes the entire community where the child lives needs support.

Improving parenting skills. In childhood, the parent's role is very significant, and it is the adult's responsibility to provide a sense of security for the child. One does not become a wise parent by birth; rather, it is learned. Various parenting training programs (e.g., Gordon's Family School, Incredible Years) can help in developing skills related to building good relationships with the adolescent, setting boundaries, coping with difficult situations, and other parenting skills.


Risk behavior causes at the school level

A significant risk for the emergence of risk behavior can occur when a child disengages from school and does not participate regularly in school activities. This may be due to conflicts among peers, including bullying, fighting, or unsatisfactory relationships, as well as a generally unpleasant school environment, such as poor relationships with teachers and/or a curriculum that does not match the young person's capabilities. 

What to do to mitigate school-related risk factors?

  • Involve the youth in the problem-solving process. If a young person is not given a voice in decisions affecting their own life or the opportunity to influence how a problem is addressed, the support provided may not meet the child's needs. When a young person can participate in decisions, the assistance offered is more effective and sustainable. While adults and professionals may want the best for the youth and offer various solutions or services, if these do not align with the young person's needs or if they are not ready for them, the expected outcome will not be achieved.
  • Recognize the youth for even small achievements (such as attending school) and adjust the learning process to be suitable for the young person's abilities and as safe as possible.
  • Create a sense of security for the child at school. The development of positive beliefs about school is supported when the student feels safe, accepted, valued, and respected by their peers and teachers (Cardwell et al., 2019). [1] Here are some recommendations:
  • Really listen to what young people are saying and try to avoid blaming. Regulate your emotions and, if necessary, take time to calm down and communicate in a caring way. [2]
  • If the young person reacts inappropriately, be calm and try to find a reasonable solution with the young person. [2]
  • If a young person tells a school staff member something, it is important to keep it to yourself and not tell anyone else. If there is an unavoidable need to pass it on to someone else, talk it through with the young person first. [2]
  • Don't invite those who don't know the subject to the blackboard - this will deepen the reluctance towards the subject/teacher. [2]
  • If a student sleeps in class, it doesn't mean he is lazy, but something is going on in his life. To better understand the situation, ask the young person about it in a separate, safe environment. Don't do it in front of the class. Don't contact the parents straight away either, talk to the young person first. [2]
  • Dig deeper into the problems, including who is actually being challenging. If a child is bullied for a long time and finally resists because he or she can't take it any more, it is often the wrong child who is to blame. At the same time, please don't ignore the situations that arise - social problems at school are also important to deal with. [2]
  • Recess is a vulnerable time for children, especially in the classroom when there are no teachers. Some children may not even eat with others, preferring to do so alone in the toilet, for example. This, however, increases the child's isolation. [2]







Causes of risk behaviours at peer and environmental level

In adolescence, young people have a strong desire to gain the attention and approval of their peers, and this is even more intense for young people who lack it at home, so they seek belonging and recognition elsewhere. This is sometimes found in gangs, where gang spirit and the example of 'friends' who misbehave with each other is followed by actions that would not otherwise be taken. In other words, young people can get caught up in a cycle of dangerous behaviour under the influence of similarly behaved friends and gang mentality.

Low socio-economic status also contributes to risky behaviour.





Summary

We need to believe that young people can change their behaviour. As adults, it is important that we consistently support and guide the young person along the way. We involve and listen more to young people, give them clear choices and decide with them, not for them.

We are trying to understand that a young person who constantly behaves in an incomprehensible way is trying to cope with himself and with life around him, which unfortunately he does not know how to do in a way that is in line with the norms of society. A young person's behaviour is a reflection of his or her experiences.

Most importantly, we don't have to do it alone: there are usually many specialists around the child, and we need to think and act together with them, i.e. to do consistent, targeted networking. In addition, let us not forget that both the child and his or her family are experts and protagonists in their own lives, so the situation will not improve if we do not involve them in the process of finding solutions.

We are trying to find the best interventions for children to show them that adults can be trusted, that adults genuinely care and listen, and that they are empowered to change together, with the support of adult(s).


[1] https://www.kriminaalpoliitika.ee/sites/krimipoliitika/files/elfinder/dokumendid/alaealiste_rikk_sekk_lopparuanne_2021_emor_avaldamiseks.pdf

[2] Noorte nõukogu noortelt sõnumid


Read more about risk and protective factors in the study: https://sotsiaalkindlustusamet.ee/sites/default/files/documents/2024-02/klat_uurimisulesanne_1._kinnise_lasteasutuse_teenusele_viinud_riskitegurid.pdf