Enelis

I have worked for years as the head of secure care for children and youth. Those years have been very eye-opening, but also filled with many sad and complex stories. It has been very difficult to see that many unnatural and traumatic events have occurred in the lives of children and young people. These young people and their stories have taught me even more about understanding, caring, and the importance of providing and creating opportunities for young people.

Both my work experience and the learning that came with it have led to a deep conviction that the only way to help young people whose behavior is dangerous to themselves or others is to do so in collaboration with both the young people and their loved ones. For a young person to be internally motivated to change their behavior, they need autonomy (the ability to make decisions in their own life), a sense of belonging (feeling valued in a community), and competence (the feeling and awareness that they are good at something they do).

In addition to my work experience, I have personal experience with a very close young person who expressed their inner pain through risky behavior for years—constant self-harm and multiple suicide attempts. I can confidently say that this period has been one of the most challenging times in my life—worrying daily for the soul of a dear young person and "waiting" for that call announcing that they are no longer here. It was a difficult time for both me and their loved ones, and especially for them. However, this challenging experience taught me that persistence, ongoing support for both the young person and their loved ones, non-judgmental listening, supportive professionals, and belief that this behavior can change ultimately led to a moment when the young person themselves expressed, “I was fed up with myself and decided to start listening to others.”

Therefore, through both personal experience and my work as the head of secure care for children and youth, I truly believe that every young person can be helped if we genuinely listen to them, identify their needs, address the underlying causes of their behavior, provide support, and simultaneously support the adults around them.