1. Talk about your feelings and seek support
- Talk to someone (an adult) you trust: Maybe a friend, teacher, mentor, relative, or professional (e.g., psychologist).
- Seek professional help : A psychologist or counselor can help you understand your feelings and find better ways to cope with them. Not all counselors are right for you, and that's okay. You can switch between counselors until you find one you feel comfortable with.
- Call the crisis hotline or write if you feel like you need help immediately, e.g. child welfare (116 111; www.lasteabi.ee)
2. Try to accept your feelings and thoughts.
- Feelings — anger, sadness, fear, hopelessness — are normal reactions to difficult experiences. Don't suppress them.
- Be aware: Ask yourself “what am I feeling right now?” and notice the physical signs (tension in the body, rapid pulse).
- Allow yourself to feel: Tell yourself, “I have this feeling right now, but it won’t last forever.”
- Express safely: Write, draw, move (e.g. run) or talk to someone you trust.
- If the feeling is very strong: Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, breathe out for 6 seconds. Tell yourself, “This feeling is hard, but it will pass.”
Feelings, even very difficult ones, don't last forever — and accepting them is a skill that can be practiced.
3. Try to avoid impulsive decisions.
When feelings are strong, it may seem like the only solution is to do something right away—like hurting yourself. This provides momentary relief, but often causes more pain later and does not solve the problem.
- Notice the increase in pulse: rapid pulse, tension in the body, feeling like you have to do something right away.
- Postpone the decision: Tell yourself “I will wait 10 minutes” and gradually increase this time.
- Find a harmless output: tear paper, squeeze a stress ball, take a brisk walk or do some squats, dip your hands in cold water, or breathe 4 in – 4 out – 6 out.
- Write down what you feel: “Right now I feel…” — without worrying about the right words. Often, this alone helps bring relief.
- Look for a positive solution: talk to someone you trust, listen to music, or do something that usually calms you down.
Example: You had an argument with a friend and want to hurt yourself. You tell yourself “I’ll wait 10 minutes,” write down what you’re feeling, and squeeze a stress ball instead. Later, you talk to your friend more calmly.
Every time you give yourself a break and choose something healthier, it becomes a habit. 💛
4. Try to learn to be more mindful.
- Breathing exercises : Deep, slow breathing helps calm anxiety and strong emotions.
- Mindfulness exercises help you be more in the moment and reduce overload.
For example, you can find various breathing exercises here: https://vaikuseminutid.ee/vaikuseminutite-harjutused/
5. Look for positive experiences
- Find activities that bring joy or peace (e.g., being in nature, playing sports, cooking, reading, watching movies).
- Try small goals: for example, do something that seems easy but gives you a feeling of accomplishment.
6. Create a safe environment
- If you find it difficult to stay at home, find places where you can be calm (e.g. a library, youth center, a friend's house).
- Stay away from things that could cause injury to yourself or others or cause more damage.
7. Try to reduce harmful habits
- If you use alcohol or other substances, try to think about how they actually affect you. Avoid situations where they are easily available.
- If you notice violent feelings, try other ways to relieve tension, such as exercise.
8. Create dreams and goals for yourself
- Imagine what you would like to be in the future. Write down some small steps that will help you get there.
- Even small progress, such as completing a school project or learning a new skill, provides a strong boost of confidence.
9. Find community and belonging
- Participate in groups or organizations that deal with topics that are important to you (e.g. youth organizations, hobby groups).
- Find people around you who understand you and whom you can trust.
10. Be kind and patient with yourself.
- Give yourself permission to be a person who makes mistakes and needs time to heal and feel better.
- Practice self-compassion: Talk to yourself as you would to a friend who needs comfort.